Aurizon Media Statement Translator

Many readers of Transport NOW have asked for assistance in deciphering Aurizon's media statements.  Here are some translations to help you understand Aurizon's jibberish and mumbo-jumbo: 

mumbo_jumbo.jpgAURIZON: Cost reduction and transformation will remain the key drivers of margin growth and shareholder value creation, and we’re determined to pull every cost and efficiency lever available to us

TRANSLATION: Every investment decision we make turns out to be wrong, so the best we can do is sack workers and cut the pay and conditions of those who are left.

AURIZON: Aurizon’s transformation program since IPO has continued with strong momentum as we drive for benchmark performance across operational, customer service and safety metrics.

TRANSLATION: Everything is going pear-shaped, but if we use lots of incomprehensible jargon then you might not realise just how bad things are.

AURIZON: It is an obvious position as we sit here today. But the fact that under any scenario of supply, demand and price it doesn't work right now takes no account for the underlying quality of the resource. But look, we always said we were not going to defy gravity with this.

TRANSLATION: OK, we admit that throwing $210 million of the company's money into Aquila Resources was pretty daft, and will probably go down in Australian corporate history the most disastrous investment decision since Jamie Packer and Lachlan Murdoch sunk their family fortunes into OneTel, but we're Aurizon so get stuffed.